It's the first day of Spring...

That's still a big scary ice sheet, but I see a tiny path that has been broken ahead. let's see where it goes.

And while it may not be the official first day of Spring, Spring is not something that is dictated by calendars, but instead follows the cycles of sun, weather, blah blah, circle of life, blah blah. Suffice to say that it is the first day of Spring for me. Not only is it the first day that I have nice weather here in the Hinterland, but I also feel that my character armour is beginning to crack a little, and something may hatch out of there. That's a scary thought.

Why am I doing this weblog? In all honesty, I am still not entirely sure.
Unlike many of the folk who do these things, I am not an aspiring artist of any kind. I'm not a novelist or a poet. I don't paint, sculpt, draw, play an instrument, sing (outside of my car or shower), or have any other need to unleash my pent-up creativity - because I don't have any.
Those looking for flowery prose and deep emotional resonance had best go elsewhere.

Okay, that's why I'm _not_ writing this, or rather, that is _not_ the reason that I _am_ writing this. So what is? Certainly I had never thought about doing something like this before now.
Let me tell you a story... (Ah-ha! you say, he _is_ a novelist! Relax, it ain't that kind of story.)

It was a seemingly unremarkable journey, a trip with my wife and daughter to Vancouver for a week away from the Hinterlands, where it was still winter. Our previous foray south, for Christmas, was nasty, brutish and short due to some horrific bug all three of us had contracted. This time, we were going to stay longer, do some visiting with friends and family, shop a little , walk a little, eat some decent sushi - the usual. Good times were had, but it was a thoroughly normal and standard getaway. Except that for some reason, I did not come back the same person I was when I left.
It was almost as if I had contracted some sort of germ (a germ of an idea, perhaps?), and it was incubating in me in the warmer southern climate. Possibly (and this was a question my wife asked) it was visiting a good friend, one who has been a catalyst for my growth in the past. I honestly don't know. What I do know, is that ideas were floating around in my tiny mind. Transformative ideas. Within a few days of returning home, I had decided to embark upon a journey of thorough self-examination and self-overhaul. Look long and hard at myself, inside and out, take inventory, throw out the trash, try to change what needs changing, and maybe even find some stuff worth keeping.

That's what this is all about. I'm inviting anyone who wants to to come along with me as I make this journey of self-transformation. I suspect it is going to be a dark and bumpy ride.
Why am I making it public? I cannot say for certain. All I know is that when I made the decision to undergo this process, I also strongly felt the need to document it, and to do so publicly. It may be that there is a certain freedom and honesty involved in laying oneself open to the scrutiny of strangers, and perhaps honesty to self begins with honesty towards others. What's the point in lying to people who don't even know you? Anonymity provides a certain courage.

As for why I am going through this self-examination in the first place, that will have to wait for the next post.